DIY: Distraction Box

A distraction box, or self harm survival kit, is just that - a box full of things to distract you from self injuring. You can put anything in there that you like, and can decorate the box however much you want to. Some things that we think could help include:

Stress balls
Pen and paper
Chamomile tea bag (renowned for relieving stress apparently)
Bubble wrap
Positive quotes
Funny cartoons (laughter is best medicine)
Crossword
Plasticine
Phone numbers, useful websites
Photos or pictures that mean something to you
Sudoku or little puzzle games
Positive stories from others
Questions to ask yourself before you self harm
Some riddles
Essential oil scents like lavender, clary sage and rosemary, all good for anxiety, depression type symptoms
Crosswords
A rubix cube
Jokes - silly simple jokes that make people laugh because they're so cheesy!
Bubble wrap
A cuddly toy
Small colouring book and pencils
Photos of relaxing scenes - mountains, rivers, etc.
Question/therapy/avoidance cards that say things like 'Do I really want to do this?' or something supportive
Your favourite film - something you always enjoy watching
A good (but non triggery) book
A CD of uplifting music

You could also include things like question cards, useful contact numbers and others coping skills to help examine why you self harm, and maybe get you on the road to stopping.

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A great message.

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Your daily reminder!

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Seeking help with self harm.

The major step is to talk to someone about it. It can be scary to bring up a topic that you've tried so hard to hide, but it can also be a significant release to finally let go of your secret and share what you’re struggling with.

It can be difficult to decide who you should open up to. It's best to select someone who isn’t going to gossip or try to take control of your recovery. Choose from whoever in your life makes you feel accepted and supported. That person could be a friend, teacher, therapist or relative. Remember, you don’t always have to choose someone you are close to.

It's important to focus on your emotions when you approach the topic of self harm with someone you trust.  To best approach the situation, focus on the feelings or situations that lead to the self injury. This can allow the person you’re telling, to understand where you’re coming from. It also helps to let the person know why you’re telling them.

If talking in person is too daunting, perhaps a phone call or an email, or perhaps even a letter will be easier. However, don't pressure yourself into sharing things that you are certainly not comfortable disclosing. Remember, you're not obliged to show someone your self injury unless you feel the need to, ie. if there is an infection or the injury needs immediate medical treatment. 


 As confronting as it is to mention, it may also be difficult for the person you tell—especially if it’s a close friend or family member. They may react in a way that you do not like, such as reactions out of shock or fear or even anger. This is usually due to the fear and lack of understanding many have about self injury. 

The better they understand self-harm, the better able they’ll be to support you.

Talking about self-harm can be very distressing and bring up a lot of emotions. It’s uncomfortable to confront and change behaviours that have stuck with a person for a while. But once you get past these first obstacles, you’ll start to feel better.

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Your daily motivation!

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When's the right time to recover?

There is never more of a right time than NOW.

Believe that you can do this, no matter what.

That you can HEAL and RECOVER FULLY, no matter what anyone THINKS.

No matter what anyone has told you in the past.

No matter what you believed yesterday.

It can all be changed, instantly, right now.

But you HAVE to make a decision.

..because if you wait until you FEEL like doing recovery, well… you will be waiting FOREVER.

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A lovely quote for the day.

"I’ve come to believe that all my past failure and frustration were actually laying the foundation for the understandings that have created the new level of living I now enjoy.”

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The scales.

I think it is so hard to destroy the scale because even in recovery, it is one last little piece of control. So that if things “get out of hand" with our weight, we will at least know. Because the only thing scarier than gaining (more) weight is not knowing when we gain weight.

The number on the scale has the ability to determine my mood for the entire day or even week and had became what I used to measure my worth..

 No matter what the number was - high, low, or even if it remained the same - it was never, ever good enough. Logically it would make sense for a person who finds it so difficult to see the number on the scale to simply throw it out. Never weigh themselves again. That's not how it works.

For some of us the scale becomes the last piece of control we can grasp onto.

Letting go of the scale can be one of the more difficult parts of recovery for some, but please believe me when I say it is worth it. Although there might be a period of "withdrawal" and temptation to seek out a scale, it does not mean those eating disordered thoughts need to win. The best advice I received was to get angry and smash my scale with a sledgehammer, run it over with my car, or at least have a friend hide it. With a little time, it is possible to be completely free from compulsive weighing behaviors.

I've said it before, but I will say it again - life is too short to allow a bathroom scale to control my life. If you haven't already, go throw out your scale... now.

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Consider this.

"...It's funny, when people think of triggers for people with eating disorders they often think of glossy magazines or models on catwalks. But, like you, loneliness is one of my biggest triggers. 
Because ultimately, eating disorders are a coping mechanism for dealing with life. 

People with eating disorders aren't "crazy" or shallow. 

They are just people who are struggling."

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Daily positive post!

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Eating Disorder recovery phases

1. I Don’t Think I Have a Problem.

• It’s my body so leave me alone.
• There are people who are a lot thinner (worse) than I am

2. I Might Have a Problem But It’s Not That Bad.

• I only throw up once in a while.
• My physical didn’t show anything wrong so I am OK.

3. I Have a Problem But I Don’t Care.

• I know throwing up isn’t good for me, but it’s working for me so I don’t care.
• I could change if I wanted to, but I don’t.

4. I Want To Change But I Don’t Know How and I’m Scared.

• I want to eat normally, but I am afraid I will get fat (gain weight).
• I want to stop bingeing, but I can’t figure out where to start.

5. I Tried To Change But I Couldn’t.

• I told myself that I would not (fill in the blank) but I found myself doing it again.
• I don’t feel like I can really ever (change) get well, so why keep trying?

6. I Can Stop Some of the Behaviors But Not All of Them.

• I could stop purging, but I will not be able to eat more.
• My eating has gotten better, but my exercise is out of control.

7. I Can Stop the Behaviors, But Not My Thoughts.

• I can’t stop thinking about food and bingeing all the time.
• I keep counting calories over and over in my head and still want to lose weight.

8. I Am Often Free From Behaviors and Thoughts, But Not All the Time.

• I feel fine all day, but under stress I revert back to my unhealthy behaviors.
• I was fine, but wearing a bathing suit triggered my eating disorder thoughts, and with it some related behaviors.

9. I Am Free From Behaviors and Thoughts.

• I feel mostly OK in my body and am able to eat things I want and not feel guilty or anxious afterwards.
• Once I had stopped the behaviors for a period of time, at some point I realized that I was no longer having the thoughts or urges.

10. I Am Recovered.

• For a long time now, I no longer have thoughts, feelings, or behaviors related to my eating disorder.
• I accept my body’s natural size. My eating disorder is a thing of the past.

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Some truthful insight.

Remember, an Eating Disorder doesn’t mean you wither and die, it is life threatening at any point. Sometimes the people who are more likely to die are not those who have a lower BMI than you. This got me to thinking, while it is important to not have a dangerously low BMI, the focus on weight and BMI is incorrect.

If you don’t have to wither and die for an eating disorder to be fatal, then an eating disorder is like a burning candle, a person can only take so much, and like a candle run out of wax and wick too quick and snuff out, however, like a candle a slight gust of wind can  also snuff it out as well.

That slight gust of metaphorical wind could take the form of a health scare, an electrolyte imbalance and this could occur even when people say to you, ‘but you don’t look ill?’

Despite not  supposedly looking ill, you could be deathly ill, an eating disorder can be fatal.

When you think of a candle, it looks different to different people, some might imagine different coloured ones, a partly melted one etc… everyones view is different, and everyone with an eating disorder is different. There is no look to a person with an eating disorder, no sticky note taped to their back, or sign above their head.

What makes one candle snuff out, and another one burn on to the end?

It is never too late to seek help and the earlier the better, there is no such thing as not ill enough, you deserve help, you deserve the correct treatment, don’t be the candle that snuffs out or burns too quickly to the end.

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A quick reminder..

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It's okay to eat

somedays are easier than others.

somedays you feel like you can’t go on.

somedays you want to forget recovery and go back to your old habits.

here’s a friendly reminder for those tricky times:

it’s okay to eat.

food is not the enemy, the disease is.

show your eating disorder who’s boss.

you are beautiful.

you deserve gentle reminders.

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Daily positive post!

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Online Resources (EXTENSIVE LIST)

Chat Rooms/Forums:
 www.eatingdisorders.org.au
www.b-eat.co.uk
 www.mentorconnect-ed.org

 People with Eating Disorders 
www.isis.org.au
www.eda.org.au
 www.eatingdisorders.org.au
www.butterflyfoundation.org.au
www.recoveryispossible.com.au
www.bulimiahelp.org
www.smart-eating.com
www.oabrisbane.com
www.mentorconnect-ed.org
www.innersolutions.net
www.something-fishy.com
www.recoveryrecord.com
www.pale-reflections.com/
http://www.eatingdisordersanonymous.org
http://www.graceonthemoon.com/

Men with Eating Disorders
www.mengetedstoo.co.uk
 www.ichosetolive.com
www.namedinc.org

Body Image/Self Esteem 
www.beautyredefined.net
www.lifeafterdiets.com.au
www.girlsinc.org
www.about-face.org
 www.bodypositive.com

 General Mental Health  
www.ifnotdieting.com.au
www.beyondblue.org.au
www.sane.org
www.depressionet.org.au

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Things that signify a possible Eating Disorder relapse (WARNING SIGNS)

Skipping meals/snacks

Purging

Retreating to my room and isolating myself

Making excuses not to have meals with family/friends – avoiding situations that involve food.

Significant increase in exercise

Sleeping more/less than usual

Missing appointments

Decreased energy

Increased depression and feelings of hopelessness

Increase in frequency of weighing myself (note…there is NO need to weigh myself at home…ever! If my weight needs to be monitored, I can leave it up to my GP or dietitian to do so)

Increase in perfectionistic thinking

In my experience, I have also needed to consciously work at reducing my exposure to triggers and where exposure is unavoidable, to create a plan of how I will navigate those times of increased vulnerability. Some of my triggers include:

• Dieting or ‘diet talk’
• Physical illness that affects appetite/eating
• Too many late nights or lack of sleep
• Forgetting to take my medications
• Missing meals (it is important for me to carry snacks in my bag in the event that I am unable to access my normal meal)
• Becoming too busy and failing to make time for self-care, rest, and relaxation
• Viewing a magazine that focuses on weight, diets, weight-loss, eating disorders, or has an abundance of unrealistically thin models.
• Weighing/measuring myself
• Seeing myself in photos
• Learning of a friend’s relapse or weight loss
• Clothes shopping
• Interruptions or changes to schedules
• Life stressors or pressures
• Relational issues
• Strong emotions such as shame, fear, guilt, anxiety, anger, depression, and loneliness.
• Boredom

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Tips on dealing with emotional responses

Imagining your emotions as clouds in the sky – watch them float by in their own time, eventually passing out of sight.

Take 10 deep, slow breaths.

 Utilise a feelings/emotions chart to try to identify what I am feeling and grade its intensity.

Visualise the feelings as a wave – ride the wave into the shore.

 Sit and tolerate the anxiety/distress/unpleasant feelings.

Take opposite action.

Count up and backwards in 3’s, 4’s, 6’s, 7’s, etc.

 Engage in a relaxation activity.

Identify 3 things I can see, 3 things I can hear, 3 colours I notice, what I can smell, and textures I can feel.

Journal P.E.A.C.E. – Pause – take a few breaths to ground me and take me back into the role of an observer; Examine – and observe with curiosity what I am feeling and where I am feeling it. Recognise and label the emotion. Allow – accept the distress of the emotion. Compassion – say kind words to myself…the same words I would say to a hurting child or good friend and comfort myself. Engage – rather than ‘reacting’, ‘respond’ in a way that aligns with my values and how I would like to act in the midst of this emotion.

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An interesting description of Normal Eating.

Normal eating is going to the table hungry and eating until you are satisfied.

It is being able to choose food you like and eat it and truly get enough of it -- not just stop eating because you think you should. 

Normal eating is being able to give some thought to your food selection so you get nutritious food, but not being so wary and restrictive that you miss out on enjoyable food.

 Normal eating is giving yourself permission to eat sometimes because you are happy, sad, or bored, or just because it feels good. 

Normal eating is three meals a day, or four or five, or it can be choosing to munch along the way. It is leaving some cookies on the plate because you know you can have some again tomorrow, or it is eating more now because they taste so wonderful. 

Normal eating is overeating at times, feeling stuffed and uncomfortable. And it can be under eating at times and wishing you had more. 

Normal eating is trusting your body to make up for your mistakes in eating. Normal eating takes up some of your time and attention, but keeps its place as only one important area of your life. 

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